The battle of hairstyles – fresh Momusu edition

8th place and 7th place

A tie between Gaki-san and Eririn – why anybody would pair two worst hairstyle makeover for the same photo? Rivers of tears were shed upon Gaki’s new hairstyle. They really screwed it big time. She looks older and less attractive. With Erin it’s somewhat a different story. She looks amazing in her PB Hatachi but fails to looks good in most of her photos. She’s just not my type. But the hair.. oh the horrible hair makes it even worse. It’s really one of the haircuts that looks awful on every body.

6th place

Linlin– the sporty hairstyle isn’t suitable for an idol. It’s more like a volleyball player hairstyle. Not too flattering but absolutely comfortable. There are many ways to make a ponytail look nice. E.g.

BLAND. UGLY. YUUUUK. As opposed to…

Much better, MUCH better :*

5th place

Takitty – don’t get me wrong, the hairstyle isn’t really bad. It’s very nice but there are better ones in the photo. I like the fact that the bun is a bit flat. Let’s look at the examples of nice buns and bad buns 😀

A really bad bun. First of all I don’t think that ANY bun would suit her face. I love Aibon with all my heart but I hate her looking like this.

The infamous grandma look Aya presented in the PV for her single Kizuna should be a warning for all japanese idols. Look out for the bun! Done badly can be lethat D:

A GOOD BUN. Airi would probably manage all hairstyles but the bun suits her exceptionally well.

The best bun so far. Why? Because it isn’t perfectly styled. It seems casual and for me that’s the point of a good bun. Somewhat loose and done carelessly.

4th place

JunJun– the hairstyle itself is great. That’s why she ranked this high. But the thing is that I prefer the cool and slick JunJun rathe than the annoyingly cute JunJun. That’s reserved for Sayumi. I think that Sayu and JunJun should swap the hairstyles.

3rd place

Sayumi – As already mentioned before Sayu would look better in sweet curly pigtails. Tha plait is too thick. She could have left her hair straight. But overall it’s good old Sayu.

2nd place

Reina– I tried my best to overlook her face. She looks so fake when trying to pull off innocent. But her hair is just plain great. She looks good with her hair down NOT half down. The ponytails she wore were irritaing. This version seems like a great alternative between her old favourite hairstyle and a new one.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

1st place

Mittsi- sorry haters but you must admit that Aika looks so much better here than on her older photos. Her forehead isn’t gawking at anybody anymore. The hairstyle is cute, classy and works almost everytime. From the very begining of her career, Mittsi was regarded as the teddybear and only for Resonant Blue showed off her badass side – good for her! You can straigher this hairstyle a bit and we have the Resonant Blue look and than curl it for the teddybear session. Both thumbs up! XD Why the hell did she had to destroy it for Seishun Collection D:

An obligatory picspam for the winner!

Ladybird

Listening to: Berryz Koubou  “Joushi Basketball Club ~Asaren Atta Hi no Kamigata~”

Dai 1 Kai Hello! Project Shinjin Kouen ~Saru no Koku~ / ~Tori no Koku~

Dai 1 Kai Hello! Project Shinjin Kouen ~Saru no Koku~ / ~Tori no Koku~

1. Young DAYS!!

First song and first impressions. It looks like All for one and one for all PV but it’s not necessarily a bad thing. School uniforms is a universal idea for good costumes in Japan (AKB48 know something about it). Girls are into the dancing and since my last concert review was a review of AKB48 team A’s 4th stage it’s a relief. I don’t care whether Tsunku bribes them, beats them or persuades them in any other way – but girls really do their best. The song is The Possible’s single and it screams SEISHUN!!! >o<

Morning Musume ‘Yuujou ~Onna ga Osaka koi jirretai~’

This cunning little bastard called Tsunku thinks that he can sell the same warmed up PV cutlet. He washed the mould and pumped the meat with water to make it appear bigger and juicy. It doesn’t look nice and it certainly is indigestible. Luckily, the song is good enough for me to buy this cutlet.

Ok, what do we have here? Oh yes, the leftovers from Iroppoi Jirettai mixed with Osaka koi no Uta and Yuujou ~Kokoro no Busu ni Naranee!~ under a new label : Onna ga medatte naze ikenai. Splendid.

Similarities are obvious but if  you need any visuals – here they are.

1. Iroppoi Jirettai

– setting

– colour

2. Osaka koi no Uta

– setting (AGAIN)

– colour (AGAIN)

-dresses

AFTER MIXING THOSE TWO

….

voilà

THE CUTLET

notice the ‘incredible’ dance performed during the chorus

Iroppoi Jirettai already recycled Osaka koi no uta’s concepts (setting, flames) but doing almost the same thing (excluding the flames) the third time?!

3. Yuujou ~Kokoro no Busu ni Naranee!~

– runway

THE CUTLET

with a dash of Fighting Pose wa Date ja nai!’s posing

– make-up scenes

THE CUTLET

with a dash of Munasawagi Scarlet and LALALA Shiawase’s mirror scenes

No more evidence is needed, right? So the PV is boring cause everything has been seen and recycled and then recycled again and again until it died :O But is it really a total disaster? Let’s look for some good points.

The first scene, when Momusus enter a corridor and sing while walking is really cool. They look gangsta >o< Except for Reina who keeps on pouting.

JunJun is her own beautiful self while LinLin seems irritated. She wants to kick some ass.

While Reina keeps on pouting … Btw, why the disco ball?! It’s not Dakishimetex2!

A cap for all Aika’s haters out there 🙂 Although, her smile looks awkward at times and her hairstyle in this PV is horrible I like her. She’s very huggable.

Sayu has her usual ‘AH’ part. Hey Tsunku, she really did well with Yowamushi! Give her a chance 😀 (somebody in the back enjoys herself immensely 😀 naughty, naughty)

After the first chorus there was one WTF moment. Between Eri’s  lines there was a pause and some random words appeared on screen. I translated them for you. Enjoy.

True, true XD

And now the greatest surprise of this PV. OMFG is it really Gaki?! Holy macaroni, she looks truly gorgeous and classy! Both thumbs up. She actually deserves bigger caps XD

YUMMY :D~~

What about the song? I love the intro and the bridge with violins. Innovative and DRAMATIC. Must love it 🙂 It’s a pity that the main theme of the PV is ‘Look stunning with boring props, same costumes and setting’. Some managed to do it (look, Gaki) and some failed miserably (the rest).

Ladybird

Listening to: Tanpopo ‘Motto’

What’s really ‘Going on’ in H!P

Some things need to be clarified. Guardians 4 have some major disadvantages:

– Risako

– cheap and tacky PVs (even for H!P standards – that means that it can’t get any cheaper)

– shitty choreography

– lame covers and costumes

I approached the newest song ‘Going on’  with reserve. ‘Can they get even crappier?’ I thought to myself. After listening to it I have to rewrite my definition of ‘crap’ cause Guardians 4 is no longer included in it. I mean the song. ONLY the song. Pure fun with interesting, memorable melody. It’s definitely fun to dance to. And it’s CUTE. That’s always both thumbs up if done well. PV is a different story. It’s…. revolutionary! All the backstage shit is now revealed to be true and even stinker than we imagined  it to be. Tsunku as a pimping paedophile? Directors of the PVs as wackos? Cheap props? Idiotic poses in the photoshoots? The ‘Going on’ reveals all the secrets.

WTF?! It explains a lot! If you have a bunch of furries to direct a PV you can’t expect to have a decent video.  But wait the second… I know this lion. I’ve seen him somewhere… And the mouse…she seems soo familiar… No, it can’t be.. it’s just too sick to be true. NOOOOOOOO!!! Pedopals?!

Jailbait Lion and Scat Mouse?!! Why the hell are you shooting a PV for kids with under age girls as actresses? ….. NOOOOOOOO!!!! It’s evil :0 And I luv it :D““` But who’s the elephant? Is it a Yuri Bunny in disguise? Or a S&M Horse? Please, don’t let it be Guro Dragon >o<

You’re a sick, sick little bastard Mr Scat Mouse waiting for underskirt shots. Aika is more than eager to comply.

Oh yeah. Fondle your asses and let the Jailbait Lion be satisfied. Fap, fap

Aika seems oblivious to what is happening behind the camera.

Risako on the other hand aims at sexy (and fails, duh). It’s a kid’s song for fuck’s sake! You’re not supposed to act flirty. I understand that Jailbait Lion has nothing against it but c’mon!

AHA! So Elephant is really a Yuri Bunny! Rii, you can’t escape your fate!

That’s how photoshoots really look like.  Three unprofessional pedopals, a ridiculous plastic prop and a lolli.

‘Two big ‘carrots’ are better than one!Yey! ^o^’ Riiiiight….

Risako – ‘A radish?’

Jailbait Lion – ‘Oh you know EXACTLY what to do with it, hun.  Don’t you remember your first PB?’

Risako – ‘Now I remember!’

A bunch of lollis in a room with locked doors and overexcited Pedopals? Will there be a continuation of this PV? I opt for ‘Getting on’.

Ladybird

Listening to : W – Koi No Indian Ningyo

2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to torture old ladies with

Do you know this special kind of an old lady with too many coins in her purse, problems with hearing, slow-motion tempo of life, who suddenly emerges in front of you in a queue when you’re really REALLY busy? I certainly do. At times like that you’re left with your imagination. You can see this wrinkled rag strapped to a chair while you approach her with this evil gleam in your eye and a stereo. You stand in front of her and set the speakers on fire with the music from hell. Here are some songs that might be helpful in a situation like that.

5. Aa! ‘Yes Yes Yes’

The song of dreams for every sadistic interrogator slash Satan-lover. The old lady  looks up and sees the three sadists dressed in black. She’s hypnotised.

Old lady – Release me!  I haven’t done anything wrong!

Aa! (with grave voice) – YES YES YES

Old lady (in hypnotic voice) – Yes, you’re right. I did something terribly wrong. I deserve to be punished.

Aa! (with the same voice straight from the open grave) YES YES YES

Old lady (in the same emotionless voice) The punishment should be severe.

Aa! – YES YES YES

Old lady – I’ll confess to everything you say.

Aa! (with a cute voice) Please, sign right here. Thank you so much and have a nice day 🙂

Old lady – WTF?!

Aa! (smugly) – Too late! You’ve already signed everything. See ya… sucker 😛

4. C-ute ‘Bye Bye Bye’

The attack of robotic girls straight from 80s! Oh the horror of it! The machines took their revenge. It’s time to say Bye Bye Bye to humanity.

Naki The Monster singing ‘Odorimasho’ in her synthesiser voice straight from hell

Take THAT you evil old lady from the supermarket! That will teach’ya! The kitsch factor of this song attacks the eardrums of my victim as she squeals.

3. Mano Erina ‘Hajimete no Keiken’

This look of cold satisfaction chills me to the bone. She knows exactly what she’s doing as  NATSU NATSU NATSU slaps the victim right in the face, GIRA GIRA GIRS  kicks her in the guts, KOI KOI KOI pulls handfuls of her grey hair, KIRA KIRA KIRA (that is KILLER KILLER KILLER) breaks her knuckles, NATSU NATSU NATSU comes again to slap her, JIRI JIRI JIRI burns her thighs with boiling water, KOI KOI KOI pulls the rest of her hair out and YURA YURA YURA ends the torture with a well placed punch. And it’s just the first part of the song! Brr.. I just can’t look.

2. Petitmoni V ‘Pira! Otome no Negai’

Mano laughs wickedly as she drills into the old lady’s brain with  PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI
PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI. The poor woman screams her lungs off but just when she thought it’s over Nakitty approaches with a new drill of PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI
PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI. The agonizing pain sets the victim’s head on fire. Is it over? Please, let it be over! BWAAHAHAHA!!!! Nooo, there’s still Hagiwara with her version of  PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI  “Stop it! I can’t stand it anymore!” PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI
PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI “I’ll do whatever you say! Just stop it!” PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

1. Morning Musume ‘Watashi no Miryoku ni Kizukanai Donkan na Hito’ also known as ‘Watashi yadayada could it be any longer wtf’

If anything fails, Aika seals the deal. The massacre of her vocals mixed with the horror of the melody and the tackiness of the words is more than enough to teach the old lady that standing in front of a busy person in a supermarket and looking endlessly for coins is EVIL! Payback is a bitch. *evil smirk*

Bonus

Mano Erina’s 2009 releases – hey, I’m not THAT evil, right?

Ladybird

Listening to : Morning Musume ‘Guruguru JUMP’