2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to torture old ladies with

December 30, 2009 at 10:41 PM 8 comments

Do you know this special kind of an old lady with too many coins in her purse, problems with hearing, slow-motion tempo of life, who suddenly emerges in front of you in a queue when you’re really REALLY busy? I certainly do. At times like that you’re left with your imagination. You can see this wrinkled rag strapped to a chair while you approach her with this evil gleam in your eye and a stereo. You stand in front of her and set the speakers on fire with the music from hell. Here are some songs that might be helpful in a situation like that.

5. Aa! ‘Yes Yes Yes’

The song of dreams for every sadistic interrogator slash Satan-lover. The old lady  looks up and sees the three sadists dressed in black. She’s hypnotised.

Old lady – Release me!  I haven’t done anything wrong!

Aa! (with grave voice) – YES YES YES

Old lady (in hypnotic voice) – Yes, you’re right. I did something terribly wrong. I deserve to be punished.

Aa! (with the same voice straight from the open grave) YES YES YES

Old lady (in the same emotionless voice) The punishment should be severe.

Aa! – YES YES YES

Old lady – I’ll confess to everything you say.

Aa! (with a cute voice) Please, sign right here. Thank you so much and have a nice day 🙂

Old lady – WTF?!

Aa! (smugly) – Too late! You’ve already signed everything. See ya… sucker 😛

4. C-ute ‘Bye Bye Bye’

The attack of robotic girls straight from 80s! Oh the horror of it! The machines took their revenge. It’s time to say Bye Bye Bye to humanity.

Naki The Monster singing ‘Odorimasho’ in her synthesiser voice straight from hell

Take THAT you evil old lady from the supermarket! That will teach’ya! The kitsch factor of this song attacks the eardrums of my victim as she squeals.

3. Mano Erina ‘Hajimete no Keiken’

This look of cold satisfaction chills me to the bone. She knows exactly what she’s doing as  NATSU NATSU NATSU slaps the victim right in the face, GIRA GIRA GIRS  kicks her in the guts, KOI KOI KOI pulls handfuls of her grey hair, KIRA KIRA KIRA (that is KILLER KILLER KILLER) breaks her knuckles, NATSU NATSU NATSU comes again to slap her, JIRI JIRI JIRI burns her thighs with boiling water, KOI KOI KOI pulls the rest of her hair out and YURA YURA YURA ends the torture with a well placed punch. And it’s just the first part of the song! Brr.. I just can’t look.

2. Petitmoni V ‘Pira! Otome no Negai’

Mano laughs wickedly as she drills into the old lady’s brain with  PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI
PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI. The poor woman screams her lungs off but just when she thought it’s over Nakitty approaches with a new drill of PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI
PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI. The agonizing pain sets the victim’s head on fire. Is it over? Please, let it be over! BWAAHAHAHA!!!! Nooo, there’s still Hagiwara with her version of  PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI  “Stop it! I can’t stand it anymore!” PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI
PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI “I’ll do whatever you say! Just stop it!” PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPIREPORAPPI PARAPIRAPORAPORAPPO PORAPARAPARAPIREPORAPPI “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

1. Morning Musume ‘Watashi no Miryoku ni Kizukanai Donkan na Hito’ also known as ‘Watashi yadayada could it be any longer wtf’

If anything fails, Aika seals the deal. The massacre of her vocals mixed with the horror of the melody and the tackiness of the words is more than enough to teach the old lady that standing in front of a busy person in a supermarket and looking endlessly for coins is EVIL! Payback is a bitch. *evil smirk*

Bonus

Mano Erina’s 2009 releases – hey, I’m not THAT evil, right?

Ladybird

Listening to : Morning Musume ‘Guruguru JUMP’

Entry filed under: Top 5 yearly rankings. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , .

2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to deflower H!P virgins with 2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to fight insomnia with

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. wendychi  |  December 31, 2009 at 4:13 AM

    …what

    Reply
    • 2. ladybird  |  December 31, 2009 at 12:09 PM

      lol? 🙂

      Reply
  • 3. Kishiko  |  December 31, 2009 at 11:58 AM

    Not only old ladies, my friend ^^ These are the opposite of the previous list. These can make one say “Man, I’ll never listen to Jpop again”!

    Yeah, I like Bye Bye Bye, but I understand how hellish it can sound for some people 😛

    Reply
    • 4. ladybird  |  December 31, 2009 at 12:09 PM

      It’s not about liking cause it’s the ranking of Top 5 songs that I hate 😀 It’s just an attempt at choosing 5 songs that have the potential of causing pain due to some aspects 🙂 Listening to Byex3 immediately gave me the Robots from Hell impression XD

      Reply
  • […] 2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to torture old ladies with « Nyu chan desu!!!. […]

    Reply
  • 6. Meyouu  |  January 2, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Lol totally evil.

    Reply
    • 7. ladybird  |  January 2, 2010 at 2:09 PM

      I’ll take it as a compliment 🙂

      Reply
  • […] 2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to torture old ladies with (Nyu chan desu!!!) 2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to deflower H!P virgins with 2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to fight insomnia with […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed


December 2009
M T W T F S S
« Oct   Jan »
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  

Categories


%d bloggers like this: