Fun with word clouds!

Do you always have this feeling that after listening to all H!P songs you’re fluent in Japanese and that there are no words that can surprise you anymore? Bad news is that Japanese isn’t that easy. Good news is that H!P songs ARE that easy. Well, at least most of them. Even without a translator you can more or less grasp the meaning of the song. Lets look closely at the word clouds made from English translations of the lyrics of three major H!P groups.

This is how PVs should be made – Buono ‘OUR SONGS’

Buono set a totally different standard for music videos under H!P label. A run of good luck started with ‘My Boy’ and continued with ‘Take it Easy’, ‘Bravo Bravo’ and now ‘OUR SONGS’. The song is mediocre (or needs more time) but PV excels on so many levels. Lets skip the song for the time being and focus on the goodies. And the main goody of this PV is of course Airi 🙂 Beware AIRI SPAM!

with a bonus gif of utter cuteness 😀

Ok, now that I drooled all over the keyboard we can go on with the review 🙂

Dance and costumes are pure Buono and I doubt that there’s a need for explanation. Rottara Rottara was an exception but a really cute one so I’ll forgive them 😀 PV is a standard dance shot plus Close ups and some random randomness along the way. There’s no safari, no playing games and killing mosquitoes or anything like that. Plain dance shot and close ups. So what makes this PV a model for all other H!P PVs? Dynamism and personality.

Personality

All three of Buono members are front girls in their original units (plus Airi is almost a soloists XD). They work for Tsunku since early childhood (it sounds nasty) and know how to behave in front of a camera. A PV with their static faces on screen would be a huge success.

Dynamism

Cameraman overdid himself this time. All the angles, different settings even for one dance move, close ups with girls moving on a platform (a crane? XD), change of setting in the middle of the PV constitute the awesomeness of this video. Camera is never static for long.

Observe the background.

It’s not too extravagant to have several settings and angles for close ups and dance shots? ‘OUR SONGS’ have them. Is it really too much to ask? A plot would be nice as well as some costume change but I think that the way of shooting this PV is revolutionary (in H!P cafe).

This gif hasn’t been manipulated. It’s the way it is in the video and in my opinion it’s a very creative way of introducing a new setting.

One thing bothers me though. But I guess it can’t be helped.

MiyaSmile. Dreadful :O

BONUS

Momo is surely a bitch. Don’t look at me! She stated it by herself!

I LOVE t-shirts like that on idols 😀 It’s a ROFL. Hey, Momo. You need more Engrish t-shirts? Here you are XD

Plenty to choose from 🙂

Ladybird

Listening to: C-ute ‘That’s the POWER’

Airi and the C-ute backdancers

SHOCK! the newest song from C-ute now has a PV! The previous two singles were huge disappointments so I held my breath when I watched the most recent PV. I haven’t seen the previews so both the song and the video were new to me.

Gulp. The title doesn’t look too promising. Should I expect lyrics about electricity and love (Koi no SHOCK perhaps)? I already imagined the outfits…

Would YOU be surprised? I wouldn’t.

Mmm… looks promising. Guess it won’t be another Lalala Shiawase no Uta (Hell, yeah)

The setting is modern and at least doesn’t include cardboard or green screen. The outfits are amazing. Simple black and white (reminds me of the Forever Love suits but more feminine).  Especially Airi’s dress/tunic/shirt is stunning.

Airi sings the first part of the song. I guess Maimi is no longer the centre of C-ute (the duo of Maimi and Airi in Forever Love annoyed me – even the whole dance was based on those two being constantly in the spotlight). Oh Airi how beautiful you are.

Maimi is a great dancer – fierce and precise, nobody can deny it. However, her voice sounds forced. I actually feel tired when I listen to her (try Natsu Doki Lipstick sung live) so I’m not bothered by her not being in the centre. I bet some wotas will be furious 😀 Btw, her new hairstyle rocks.

Bwahaha… this pic shows the essence of  MaiMai’s attitude XD I just can’t live without a funny cap.

Phew, they didn’t spoil the dance with some silly movements. It’s dynamic, expressive and badass. Me want *o* Of course, it could be improved. It’s not as fierce as Forever Love or as epic as Tokaikko Junjou but it’s far better than some other songs. Beware of the lame moves :O

Ugh D:

Chorus is catchy. Especially, the repetition of ‘SHOCK’ – smooth and tasty. The whole song reminds me of Kimagure Princess – a bit of an Eastern flavour to it.

During the chorus and the interlude other girls got the lines and then the second part begins with …Airi again? Woah, this IS her song. Not that I mind XD

Dear Chisato, you rule my heart. The badass look serves you well. You just need a few more lines.

FAIL >o< Sorry, Saki.

The close-ups are fairly plain and bland (it’s almost like her photobook cover XD). I think the PV could have lived without this background.

Head banging!!! ^o^

Pretty Maimi.  What a delicious sight.

The PV contains a lot of amazing Airi moments that are worth turning into gifs 😀 Enjoy.

Spasm _o_

And now a full PV

Do I miss the former members? A tiny little bit.  Do I think that this video would improve with Erika and Kanna in it? Not in the least.

Do I agree with the view that line distribution should be more even? Yes. But only when it means that my favourites get more lines XD Hey, at least I’m honest. Does it count? 🙂

Ladybird

Listening to : Morning Musume ‘Kimagure Princess’

MaiMai is not a jailbait

I’m definitely not a MaiMai biggest fan. I think she sometimes acts conceited and her voice as well as facial expressions don’t suit her age. She started the H!P adventure (pedofactory) very early but she failed to be the true jailbait like some other older girls (points to Risako’s first photobook). She looks mature and distanced and lacks the aura of youth. Is it bad or good? Hard to decide. Here’s her first photobook that might have been a major scandal.

The cover is bland and unappealing. There’s nothing interesting going on here. Smile – a bit forced. Eyes – tired. Colours – what colours?!

There’s a slight difference between cute and infantile. The school bag is just too much.

I don’t have a problem with an underage bikini shot as long as it’s pretty and fun.

But this is somewhat disturbing. Her left hand travelled a tiny itsy bitsy too far for my mental well-being.The spirit of Riko Kawanishi is in the air.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \(>o<)/

The only way to make eating ice-cream look innocent is to make a goofy face. But what’s the point of this photo?

This outfit is horrible. I’d wear something like that on a laundry day. If you focus on everything else, it seems the photo is quite amazing. I like the feeling of it.

Nice bikini. The colour suits her.

Wow. Absolutely, WOW. Not ideal (it’s hard to satisfy me ;), but WOW.

Holy macaroni! This is what happens when I praise somebody. What an idiot forced her into this swimsuit and told her to pose in a drain?! Ugh… D:

Great pic. She looks fresh and very much hugable.

Awww.. so cute (but not nyu-chan-desu cute type). Her eyes are very expressive and I love it. She should be like that more often. I tend to associate her with the badass look.

A very useful pose… khem, who taught them that? It reminds me..

Sorry to say it MaiMai but Sayu does it better. Besides, she IS better in almost every single way (her singing is the only problem, but who cares anyway XD)

The photobook is decent and if you’re a Mai’s fan than you’ll be extatic. But for an ordinary H!P Cafe customer, it’s merely nice.  I think it could be a lot better. Just look at her. She can be so adorable.

Ladybird

Listening to : High King ‘Diamonds’

W (Double U) musical – snarky interpretation PART 1

There’s some crazy shit happening right now in H!P factory, (Miracles kicked out, flat chested girls given PBs, former members showing off their asscracks etc.) and as a coping mechanism I decided to find some relief in the past. No, I don’t mean Elder Club. Sheesh, I thought they would never leave. I have in mind sweet sweet Aibon and the other girl with monstrous ribbons XD  I watched their musical – ‘W – Fushigi Shojo Tantei Cara&Mel – Ma no Violin Tonan Jiken’  (also known as ‘Kago and the other girl – Random fun magical Cara&Mel – some crazy violin’) without subtitles and it was…well..how shall I put it…hm… a major ROFL. I read a general description of a plot but nothing else. You can find this musical here: http://www.hello-online.org/index.php?act=tracker&CODE=details&torrent=21072.   The following description slash comments slash snarky snark will be my own interpretation of the storyline. Prepare for randomness 😀

Stage looks fairly small. I can already smell the excitement. Oh I miss the stage. I think that in about 1 week we’ll gave a rehearsal. Good times, good times.

Actors enter the room and walk down the aisles beckoning the crowd to clap (Minna tebyoushi CHACCHACCHA CHACCHA~!!! Playing in my head).Look closely at the audience. That’s a cultural difference. American guys prefer watching a match on TV with a beer (the same with Polish guys) while Japanese guys go to theatres. Sophisticated? Not really. They watch some under-age girls playing around and some pathetic ‘actors’ fighting to earn some cash to feed the kids at home.

I bet that the fourth person from the seventh row thinks at the moment :’WTF?! I want my fucking money back!’ and I can end my review right now as the aforementioned thoughts of  a random viewer pretty much summarized the whole musical before the very start of the plot. The majority of people in the room are male and over thirties. But does it mean that those ppl are retarded?! They surely look retarded but it’s not the point XD The opening song is supposed to be at least decent. You need to capture the audience, make it hum the song throughout next scenes, make it wanna learn the dance done on stage.

And what next? Stub your nose while doing an imaginary basketball match?! Hmm, that’s highly probable. I’ve seen these costumes somewhere…

…oh here they are XD Oh Tsunku, you thought I wouldn’t notice. Tsk, tsk.

*shrugs*

Oh c’mon, there must be some positive aspects of the opening song. *ponders upon it in silence* I’ve got it! There must be some hot chicks to distract us from the massacre of a performance! Lets have a closer look on those delicious…

*chokes on my own saliva*

Sweet Jezus Almighty in Heaven! What’s THAT?! Surely, there is a bunch of lovely girls able to dance and sing and do a little acting available in H!P, right?!  Isn’t it the core of H!P?! Isn’t it the reason that middle aged guys fap in MaiMai’s towel?!

Back to the ‘plot’. What a surprise! Red light appears accompanied by some horror movies score. Actors are alarmed and flouncing on stage real time. Half of the audience shitted their pants. THEN,  a bunch of imaginary zombies enter the stage and start eating  the aristocratic looking ppl’s brains! (well, it looks like that XD) Holy shit!

The cameraman is also under attack as he tries to fight the zombies and at the same time record the musical. He holds the camera with his left hand and we see some shaky glimpses of ppl on stage tossing and holding their heads! Imaginary blood splutters the audience, invisible intestines are kicking around on the floor – RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

But it’s too late. After a couple of exciting moments, we see the defeat of aristocracy and arise of the zombies. Now, the brainless aristocrats are no longer in control of their bodies while the mysterious shadow of the imaginary zombie king appears on stage. The fourth person from the seventh row looks more or less like this:

Pussy. It’s just a beginning, mate XD

Lights go off and…

…after a short pause we can see a colourful room which again seems strangely familiar.. Hm.. a bit of Berryz ‘Rival’ cardboard heaven but still it’s not it. oh, yes, here it is…..

Give me crayons! There are too many empty places on the curtains! What’s with the rectangular pattern on the walls?! It’s IRREGULAR! Gr… my sense of balance is broken.  But overall, cute is cute and no discussions here. Plastic food (perhaps done better in SEISHUN Love Lunch) plus Nono and her gigantic ribbon is just a part of this ‘make it fucking cute’ plan.  Fine to me. With some limits.

Oh, Aibon *sigh* My sweet, sweet virgin Aibon.  Those yummy legs, uber cute uniform, girly pigtails…. OMFG NAKAZAWA YUKO QUEEN OF HADES WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FURRY MONSTER NEXT TO NONO?!!!!!! Geez, it scared the living shit out of me. Please, dear God, let this mistake of evolution stay on the ground motionless.

Nono tried to eat the plushy cake alone but Aibon being the sneaky little devil suspected something nasty from her fellow detective. Note to myself. Don’t trust girls with gigantic ribbons.

Aibon noticed that Nono’s mouth was full of something. When asked what it is, Nono gave a rather ..hm.. bold excuse expressed with gestures…

My, my. Nono, my dear child, you must have been really desperate to resolve to this excuse. Fortunately, Kago is a pro in these matters (or will be in very near future *wink wink*)and knows that in these circumstances Nono’s face expression would be different. More delighted and less neutral.

She starts chasing Nono. The audience rub their hands together in anticipation of some perverted BDSM action with Kago getting Nono over her knee, pulling her panties down slowly, spreading her legs just a little….  (the fourth person from the seventh row drools all over their shirt)…

And then the girls did the mistake of their lives (well, Kago’s mistake of her life will come  a bit later…). They trod on the Furry Monster…

OW NOES! It’s alive!!!! And moving! RUN, BITCHez, RUUUUUUUN!!! Luckily, the phone rung and the furry beast calmed down a bit.

Nono seems disappointed that Aibon lost interest in the chase. I got the feeling that the whole intrigue with eating the cake was just as fake as the cake itself and she just hoped for some hot ass whooping.

BAAACK, to the khem,khem story. Something bad happened and girls need to discuss it.

What’s with this frigging DOG?! My back hurts when I see this actor kneeling all the time and my pride aches when I see him making a fool of himself.

For fuck’s sake, this creature seriously creeps me out!!!!!

But yey it’s about time for a song! \(^o^)/ Nono is introduced as Mel and Aibon as Cara with a catchy, energetic and fun song I still hum under my nose. Some old ppl dressed as detectives replace Hello!Project Eggs. Tsunku, you’re a genius.

TSUNKU: Really?

ME: No.

Miss random detective back dancer, I understand you’re overwhelming desire to guffaw when seeing Nono’s gigantic ribbon. Screw the choreography, just give in to the feeling of utter amusement XD

Tsunku got really thrifty with the musical. He employed some actors wannabes, used cardboard props and even recycled old H!P moves into the dance. Luckily, he used good moves so I don’t mind 😀

When everybody’s attention is on Kago’s legs, some bald pedo wearing a hat enters the stage.

Again, the audience expects some juicy illegal action. Will it be the case? Who is he? Stay tuned XD

ladybird

Listening to: V-u-den ‘Kuchibiru Kara Ai wo Choudai’