W (Double U) musical – snarky interpretation PART 1

October 5, 2009 at 10:11 PM 8 comments

There’s some crazy shit happening right now in H!P factory, (Miracles kicked out, flat chested girls given PBs, former members showing off their asscracks etc.) and as a coping mechanism I decided to find some relief in the past. No, I don’t mean Elder Club. Sheesh, I thought they would never leave. I have in mind sweet sweet Aibon and the other girl with monstrous ribbons XD  I watched their musical – ‘W – Fushigi Shojo Tantei Cara&Mel – Ma no Violin Tonan Jiken’  (also known as ‘Kago and the other girl – Random fun magical Cara&Mel – some crazy violin’) without subtitles and it was…well..how shall I put it…hm… a major ROFL. I read a general description of a plot but nothing else. You can find this musical here: http://www.hello-online.org/index.php?act=tracker&CODE=details&torrent=21072.   The following description slash comments slash snarky snark will be my own interpretation of the storyline. Prepare for randomness 😀

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Stage looks fairly small. I can already smell the excitement. Oh I miss the stage. I think that in about 1 week we’ll gave a rehearsal. Good times, good times.

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Actors enter the room and walk down the aisles beckoning the crowd to clap (Minna tebyoushi CHACCHACCHA CHACCHA~!!! Playing in my head).Look closely at the audience. That’s a cultural difference. American guys prefer watching a match on TV with a beer (the same with Polish guys) while Japanese guys go to theatres. Sophisticated? Not really. They watch some under-age girls playing around and some pathetic ‘actors’ fighting to earn some cash to feed the kids at home.

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I bet that the fourth person from the seventh row thinks at the moment :’WTF?! I want my fucking money back!’ and I can end my review right now as the aforementioned thoughts of  a random viewer pretty much summarized the whole musical before the very start of the plot. The majority of people in the room are male and over thirties. But does it mean that those ppl are retarded?! They surely look retarded but it’s not the point XD The opening song is supposed to be at least decent. You need to capture the audience, make it hum the song throughout next scenes, make it wanna learn the dance done on stage.

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And what next? Stub your nose while doing an imaginary basketball match?! Hmm, that’s highly probable. I’ve seen these costumes somewhere…

vlcsnap-00448…oh here they are XD Oh Tsunku, you thought I wouldn’t notice. Tsk, tsk.

tsunku_blog_090902_06*shrugs*

Oh c’mon, there must be some positive aspects of the opening song. *ponders upon it in silence* I’ve got it! There must be some hot chicks to distract us from the massacre of a performance! Lets have a closer look on those delicious…

VTS_01_1.VOB_000093105*chokes on my own saliva*

Sweet Jezus Almighty in Heaven! What’s THAT?! Surely, there is a bunch of lovely girls able to dance and sing and do a little acting available in H!P, right?!  Isn’t it the core of H!P?! Isn’t it the reason that middle aged guys fap in MaiMai’s towel?!

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Back to the ‘plot’. What a surprise! Red light appears accompanied by some horror movies score. Actors are alarmed and flouncing on stage real time. Half of the audience shitted their pants. THEN,  a bunch of imaginary zombies enter the stage and start eating  the aristocratic looking ppl’s brains! (well, it looks like that XD) Holy shit!

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The cameraman is also under attack as he tries to fight the zombies and at the same time record the musical. He holds the camera with his left hand and we see some shaky glimpses of ppl on stage tossing and holding their heads! Imaginary blood splutters the audience, invisible intestines are kicking around on the floor – RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

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But it’s too late. After a couple of exciting moments, we see the defeat of aristocracy and arise of the zombies. Now, the brainless aristocrats are no longer in control of their bodies while the mysterious shadow of the imaginary zombie king appears on stage. The fourth person from the seventh row looks more or less like this:

WTFmonkeyPussy. It’s just a beginning, mate XD

Lights go off and…

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…after a short pause we can see a colourful room which again seems strangely familiar.. Hm.. a bit of Berryz ‘Rival’ cardboard heaven but still it’s not it. oh, yes, here it is…..

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Give me crayons! There are too many empty places on the curtains! What’s with the rectangular pattern on the walls?! It’s IRREGULAR! Gr… my sense of balance is broken.  But overall, cute is cute and no discussions here. Plastic food (perhaps done better in SEISHUN Love Lunch) plus Nono and her gigantic ribbon is just a part of this ‘make it fucking cute’ plan.  Fine to me. With some limits.

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Oh, Aibon *sigh* My sweet, sweet virgin Aibon.  Those yummy legs, uber cute uniform, girly pigtails…. OMFG NAKAZAWA YUKO QUEEN OF HADES WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FURRY MONSTER NEXT TO NONO?!!!!!! Geez, it scared the living shit out of me. Please, dear God, let this mistake of evolution stay on the ground motionless.

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Nono tried to eat the plushy cake alone but Aibon being the sneaky little devil suspected something nasty from her fellow detective. Note to myself. Don’t trust girls with gigantic ribbons.

Aibon noticed that Nono’s mouth was full of something. When asked what it is, Nono gave a rather ..hm.. bold excuse expressed with gestures…

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My, my. Nono, my dear child, you must have been really desperate to resolve to this excuse. Fortunately, Kago is a pro in these matters (or will be in very near future *wink wink*)and knows that in these circumstances Nono’s face expression would be different. More delighted and less neutral.

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She starts chasing Nono. The audience rub their hands together in anticipation of some perverted BDSM action with Kago getting Nono over her knee, pulling her panties down slowly, spreading her legs just a little….  (the fourth person from the seventh row drools all over their shirt)…

And then the girls did the mistake of their lives (well, Kago’s mistake of her life will come  a bit later…). They trod on the Furry Monster…

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OW NOES! It’s alive!!!! And moving! RUN, BITCHez, RUUUUUUUN!!! Luckily, the phone rung and the furry beast calmed down a bit.

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Nono seems disappointed that Aibon lost interest in the chase. I got the feeling that the whole intrigue with eating the cake was just as fake as the cake itself and she just hoped for some hot ass whooping.

BAAACK, to the khem,khem story. Something bad happened and girls need to discuss it.

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What’s with this frigging DOG?! My back hurts when I see this actor kneeling all the time and my pride aches when I see him making a fool of himself.

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For fuck’s sake, this creature seriously creeps me out!!!!!

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But yey it’s about time for a song! \(^o^)/ Nono is introduced as Mel and Aibon as Cara with a catchy, energetic and fun song I still hum under my nose. Some old ppl dressed as detectives replace Hello!Project Eggs. Tsunku, you’re a genius.

tsunku_blog_090902_05TSUNKU: Really?

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ME: No.

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Miss random detective back dancer, I understand you’re overwhelming desire to guffaw when seeing Nono’s gigantic ribbon. Screw the choreography, just give in to the feeling of utter amusement XD

Tsunku got really thrifty with the musical. He employed some actors wannabes, used cardboard props and even recycled old H!P moves into the dance. Luckily, he used good moves so I don’t mind 😀

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When everybody’s attention is on Kago’s legs, some bald pedo wearing a hat enters the stage.

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Again, the audience expects some juicy illegal action. Will it be the case? Who is he? Stay tuned XD

ladybird

Listening to: V-u-den ‘Kuchibiru Kara Ai wo Choudai’

Entry filed under: Snarky interpretation/Review. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

A few words about Koharu B I G to the BANG :D~~

8 Comments Add your own

  • […] W (Double U) musical – snarky interpretation PART 1 « Nyu chan desu!!!. […]

    Reply
  • 2. Couple Halloween Costumes  |  October 7, 2009 at 7:38 PM

    Nice post

    Reply
  • 3. Dicky  |  October 7, 2009 at 7:44 PM

    Nice costumes

    Reply
  • 4. meyouu  |  October 8, 2009 at 11:44 PM

    Nice “pedolicious” tag.

    Reply
    • 5. ladybird  |  October 9, 2009 at 12:35 AM

      Pedolicious definition
      Make them men go loco
      They want my treasure
      So they get their pleasures from my photo XD

      Reply
  • 6. meyouu  |  October 8, 2009 at 11:46 PM

    Just kidding, is the play really that stupid? Anyways I’ll watch out for part 2.

    Reply
    • 7. ladybird  |  October 9, 2009 at 12:32 AM

      It’s more like ‘silly’ than stupid. Not my kind of thing. If you enjoyed the skits done in the theatre sections of Hello Morning, you’ll enjoy this musical. But it’s a guilty pleasure XD Glad you’re eager for the next part 😀 I’ll try as soon as possible but I have to post some things before the second part of the review. 😀

      Reply
  • 8. meyouu  |  October 9, 2009 at 2:50 AM

    Ah, well I have zero recollection of Hello-mornings, but my sources say that It wasn’t “Glorious”.

    And that’s because “Plain, happy, and the like” reviews suck.

    Reply

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