Berryz Koubou Concert Tour 2009 Spring – review part 3 LAST

Continue with the last part of  a review. This one is a bit pervy and has  a little storyline in the end 😀 Hope you like it.

Furare Pattern

They should have performed this song with their previous set of costumes. These colourful, frilly, dead animals, outfits are out of place (the same is with Momo’s helium voice but who listens to me anyway?!)

Look closely. One wota almost grabbed Saki’s crotch. Lucky bastard ;D

The song is in the COOL zone, the fact I’m always eager to embrace. And here comes the choreographer (along which the costume person) who’s always ready to spoil all the fun. Seriously, what’s the deeper meaning, the great metaphor behind this move?

How should I call it? The ‘alien hand symptom’ move? The ‘OMFG it’s my hand’ move? Or ‘there’s a hand growing out of the left side of my head’ move? Or maybe ‘the magical trick with a disappearing hand suddenly reappearing from the back of my head’ move? Dunno. I can call it ‘the annoying’ move but that might be confusing, although true.

This blurred pump behind me used to be Momo but she commented on my awkward dancing. Wanna join her?

I’ll pass. But you seriously move like a pissed robot

Dschinghis Khan

That’s the song for which the costumes are appropriate! PV had its great moments with Chinami or little kids jumping around like a parody of wotadom. When the song is stripped of the background and thrown on the live stage it’s either an epic win or epic fail. Usually win. This time it’s just a win. At least not a fail. Girls are exhausted and sweaty while this song requires a lot of fresh enthusiasm, high tension and energy.

There were a lot of moments (like this above, watch Rii) when girls were distracted by making sure that their make-up is still on the face and not in the boots. When I see how they use their own probably sweaty like satan’s ass by this moment hands to wipe the sweat off their faces I’m disgusted. Yeah, it’s natural, inevitable and so on. Does it make it less disgusting? Nope.

Momo: HOI!

Wotas: Shoot her!

Happiness ~Koufuku Kangei!~

The first time I heard this song I thought the Engrish lyrics were ‘We welcome the sadness tonight!’. It was a bit confusing with all the happy dancing and smiles but I got over it with a knowing ‘Tsunku and his crazy brain’ on my lips. The melody is irritating, dance is forgettable and nothing can save this song from a major fail.

The ‘kick the balls’ move. Is it the way of welcoming happiness tonight? I don’t know, but what I know for sure is that Maasa is VERY into it.

Yuujou Junjou oh Seishun

There are some popular words among H!P lyrics which most probably will be included in a majority of forthcoming songs.

yume

jump

merodi

junjou

koi no yadayada

do it

hoi/hai/woo/fuu/yey/oh/oi ….

seishun

And so on. When you read the title Yuujou Junjou oh Seishun and see that the lyrics include a lot of OHs and some Engrish you can be sure that this is  a pure ‘wota song’ made for concerts specifically. It’s supposed to provide fun and it does. At least, when you attend a concert. But when you watch it…you can only focus on some body parts jumping and observe rivers of sweat. Only.

sodium 0.9 gram/liter+ potassium 0.2 gram/liter+ calcium 0.015 gram/liter+magnesium 0.0013 gram/liter+water= smexy Berryz

MC

WHAT?! Since when asking a crowd to make  a monkey pose counts as an MC?!

Make  a Monkey pose! Yey! ^^

I see that you didn’t do the fucking Monkey pose! You’ll welcome the pain tonight, shithead.

Yuke Yuke Monkey Dance

The song is crazy, has completely wacky lyrics and the PV is embarrassing to watch (with some great Chinami’s moments). It’s fun and I’m addicted to it. TIKITIKI is stuck in my head. I prefer songs like Dakishimete Dakishimete but some craziness is good for health when delivered in small doses XD The stage goes wild! Girls are out of control! Wotas attack the stage! The orgy begins!

Holy cow! Yess…0oh yes.. show me what you got. (Saki enjoys some gratitude from Miyabi’s lips)

Yurina shows Momo who’s the boss with a bit of a BACKstage fun

Momo is shocked by the experience and  a bit embarrassed…

…but thrilled at the same time so she decides to encourage the wotas to try the same good stuff with the rest of the girls, however….

…non of them were prepared for the eager response of wotas now swarming into the stage and scaring them all.

CLAP!

Can it get even more genki? So many intense songs in the row.  Again a true ‘wota song’ with all the elements of chanting, repetitive moves and crack induced wackiness.

The lyrics say: CLAP. Girls do CLAP. If you’re an extremely retarded wota, you’d still need a manual on the screen. Here it is. Clapping hands. Now you get it? Oh, yeah. Now it’s clear. CLAP. Brilliant.

I haven’t seen you clapping! Yeah, I’m talking to you!

MEANWHILE…

Rii and Momo research the triangle

Chinami joins while Rii gazes at her lips hungrily and Momo is suffoctaed by two pairs of mountains

Seishun Bus Guide

Backstage

Girls go backstage for a change of clothes. They’re sweating, panting and begging for some water and dry towels.

Risako: OMFG, I can already feel sweat running down my legs!

Chinami: It’s not sweat, sweetheart. Let me clean it up for you.

Maasa: Shut the fuck up! Tsunku, where the fuck is my beer?!

Tsunku: Chill out ladies. I know you’re tired and sweaty. Uncle Tsunku wants only the best for you. Put this on and everything will be awwright.

Maasa: The last time I heard this shit you gave us fucking monkey costumes! Best for me my ass, bastard!

Tsunku: Maasa, put away the knives and just trust me this one last time!

Maasa: …. Ok, just give these damn outfits and lest go back on stage.

I’ll kill you for this Tsunku!

God, it must be horrible to dance in these .. things! Their skin screams for oxygen, sweat glands are swelling and who knows what else! And what for?! For a song about a bus guide?! About dreaming of being a microphone and other sick fantasies?! Call Child Services! This is pure pointless torture. And there aren’t even any abs to look at!!! ><

Rival

The oilcloth stretches impossibly while the girls struggle to do the dance of Rival.

They tried to form a mute HELP with their arms but nobody understood. So sad. Sniff

Can you spell ‘excruciating pain’, Tsunku? CAN YOU?

I’ll cut your throat with a blunt knife.

And I’ll squeeze your balls until they turn blue

Anata Nashi de wa Ikite Yukenai

Backstage

Tsunku lies bleeding furiously.

Maasa: DID. I. MAKE. MYSELF. CLEAR.? says Maasa and punctuates each word with a stump on Tsunku’s ribs.

Tsunku: &%$#&%$#

Maasa: DID I?! she screams right into the purple plump being Tsunku’s face.

Tsunku: Yes *screams in agony* the right costumes are there!!! he answers and cries.

Maasa: They better be fucking awesome.

YOU’RE DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t know who made these costumes. Are those some leftovers from a theatre? Was it like :Hey, lets dress them like princesses and princes and let them sing their first single! I’m so fucking smart! Niaff, niaff.

Put us in shackles and end our misery

nobody can do COOL while in these parodies of costumes.

I’ll be merciful and push the SKIP button. The same with MC

Sono Subete no Ai ni

The girls apparently reached their emotional limits. The’ve been forced to suffer from dehydration, almost fainted from the lack of rest and were told to wear horrendous outfits. I would have cried too.

Poor Saki. Poor little Saki. She cracks on her lines unable to stop crying. I want to hold her

Risako whines pathetically. Get a grip of yourself. Geez ;D

A sad Momo? Aww… Not really *smirks*

Embrace the wrath of Maasa, Tsunku.

SUMMARY

The concert is worth seeing. Sometimes for the solid performances, sometimes for a bit of drama and sometimes for a bit of a laugh.  It’s the best Berryz concert I’ve seen this far. And this is a big thing to say, I know. Maybe it’s because they have now  a lot of great songs worth hearing and stop redoing the same stuff all over again *coughspecialgenerationcough*. I would change some things. Add more complicated dances. Buy them some acting lessons. Chop off the pinky. Burn some costumes. Overall, not bad Berryz. Not bad at all.

ladybird

Listening to: Buono – ‘Early Bird’