2014 rankings – Top 5 songs to come out of the closet

January 14, 2015 at 2:49 AM 4 comments

There are some  everyday annoyances that can ruin a good day.  Forgetting an umbrella during a downpour, getting stuck in the traffic, listening to Koharu’s ‘Konnichi pa’ sober. But there’s just that one thing that always ruins your day. Getting stuck in the closet. No matter how loud you scream for help, there’s rarely anybody to hear you. You end up living there for a week until the postman comes with your latest e-lineup haul (consisting mostly of the trainees’ photos because you’re such a lollicon). So what can you do to make your flatmates slash family slash imaginary friends notice your absence? Luckily, you always carry a full set of speakers and your mp3 player with the 2015 songs by Hello!Project. Some of them are perfect for the occasion.

5. Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai by Morning Musume

mm_kimi_no_kawari_wa_iyashinaiJust do the crab everybody.

To let the people know that you’re there you need a fast-paced song with some chanting and great vocals. This one is great for you. Oda and Atsuko Maeda Riho are the vocal powerhouses that keep this song going. Suddenly you’re rooting for NIPPON NIPPON NIPPON NIPPON NIPPON. THEORY? IRONY? It doesn’t have to make sense, right? It’s loud, it’s strong, it’s enough to gain the attention.

4. The Future by C-ute

C-uteOh, I’m sorry. It’s the wrong photo. Those costumes mislead me.

C-ute these days provides us with many powerful songs (that usually include either hip thrusting or butt groping. Not that I’m complaining.) In 2015, one of those had a particular hook that brings the boys to the yard, or in this situation to the closet. I’m talking about DE FIUUUUTCHEEEEEER *the sounds of a strangled kitten*. Your windows won’t stand the chance. Neither will the ears of the people within the 20 km radius. Somebody is bound to come the rescue for the sake of your FIUUUUTCHEEEEEER.

3. Mystery Night by S/mileage

smileageHm, I always thought that bras go under the clothes.

How can you lure somebody to help you? How about with a group of girls promising them a Mystery Night (it already sounds like a condom brand, doesn’t it?)? Bingo. There are a couple of useful bits in this song. One most prominent is the ‘Come on, come on, come on, come on’ part which sounds exactly like a person banging on the door. I can easily imagine myself pounding on the relentless wood of my closet and screaming “Come on!”. On the other hand, you can always switch back to seducing if you finish the phrase differently e.g. Come on my (any body part would do *shrugs*). I bet somebody would actually come to rescue you if you yell that one with enough ‘Sayu from It’s you’ type of charm.

2. Oheso no Kuni Kara Konnichiwa

Oheso_no_Kuni_Kara_KonnichiwaSure, this closet is big enough for all of you. Jump right in.

GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND GREETINGS FROM BELLYBUTTON LAND

You just can’t play this song without your rabid flatmates barging through the door  to suffocate you and annihilate the source of this ear-raping music. If they want to do it, they would have to free you from the closet first. That’s a win-win situation right there.

1. Eli, Eli Lema Sabachtani from the Lilium musical

[mmbbs]_LILIUM_Girls_Purity_Musical_(FFF790D8).mkv_003868798It’s me! Please don’t eat me D:

That’s the blast you’ve been looking for. It starts quite innocently but then the pure power of the girls voices, the magnificence of the instruments worthy being the soundtrack of some epic battle (orcs vs elves, Riho vs Ayumi dance off, Kanon vs food) can break the doors of your closet. Nobody can stay immune to the glory of this song. Your whole neighbourhood would flood your flat searching the source of this epic vocal performance. (some of them to perform exorcisms I presume)  Perhaps the power if this song lies in pure numbers of the vocalists. Nevertheless, the song would definitely do the trick.

nyuchandesu

Entry filed under: Top 5 yearly rankings. Tags: , , , .

2014 rankings – Top 5 songs to mask the sound of bricks in your washing machine 2016 here I come

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. morningtime  |  January 14, 2015 at 6:47 AM

    The easiest way to come out the closet is listen to Berryz Kobo. After a few songs you’ll find the strength within you to smash down the doors yourself just to get away from the music. That’s if the presence of Maasa hasn’t already alerted everyone to your closet predicament first.

    Would you be in the closet in order to find the secret entrance to the land of belly buttons though? Maybe you wouldn’t want rescuing.

    Reply
    • 2. ladybird  |  January 14, 2015 at 1:09 PM

      A secret entrance? That’s an interesting thought. If the land is full if idols’ belly buttons then I’d probably prefer to stay them forever o.O But if this song is played there constantly? My sanity would crash.

      Reply
      • 3. morningtime  |  January 14, 2015 at 2:45 PM

        You love the song really. Go on, admit it. It’s so damn happy and cute!

        Reply
        • 4. ladybird  |  January 14, 2015 at 10:20 PM

          I kinda do 🙂

          Reply

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