The mandatory AKB48 post – Team A 5th stage REVIEW

January 17, 2010 at 11:23 PM 11 comments

Even a hardcore stupid ass H!P wota like me has to at least notice the existence of AKB48. I started with Skirt Hikari. My reaction : ‘They made a song just to show schoolgirl’s underpants?! Japan is SICK’. Then I went for ‘Seifuku something something’ . My reaction : ‘Can somebody call Child Service?!’ but the song was enjoyable so I decided to give them a try and downloaded a few albums. It was a random sample from Team A and Team K. Some songs appealed to me – Nagisa no Cherry (although it was beyond cheesy), Nageki no Figure, Senaka kara dakishimete, AKB48, Aitakatta and First Love. It was nothing really special. I treated them as playlist fillers along with some random anime opening I borrowed from my older sister, a bit of Big Bang and a bit of SNSD. The rest was my beloved H!P and I think it will stay this way. But I wanted to be open minded and gave them the last try. I downloaded a random stage (I just wanted Team A cause I recognised two front girls) and watched it a few times. Here’s the review. Bear in mind that my knowledge of the whole Stage/Team/undergirls system is vague. Not to mention that I only know Maeda Atsuko by name XD


This shit is funny. Is it the same pimp from Hatten JOY intro? Gangsta plus under age lollis? Jailbait Lion come out come out wherever you are.

1. Nagai hikari

If you want to act emo, emo lyrics and light are not enough. DRESS emo. Btw, nice voice.

Costume change? After 4 lines? And what kind of change is it? One overly cute and tacky costume changed to another overly cute and tacky costume. Facepalm.

Countless lollis flood the stage. There’s no way to recognise any of them. I can’t even tell which girl did the emo intro. As far as I’m concerned I wouldn’t recognise Momoko if she entered the stage in this costume right now. My head is spinning ><

Dance is pretty easy to learn. Hand motion, walk a little, hand motion, bend your knee. REPEAT. Well, if it’s so easy than why the hell they cannot do it in synchrony?!I got an answer – they don’t care.

2. Squall no aida ni

The chorus is damn catchy. I have to admit it. Dance improved but the girls still look uninterested. If I were a fan standing in the first row, I would be pissed. Either you cut the number of performances and feed the girls with sugar or stop exploiting them so much. Or is it only their attitude to their fans?

Who’s the girl on the left without a hairband? She immediately struck me as a ‘two-face bitch’. Her smile is sneaky and I bet that nobody likes her in the group (along with Atsuko cause she’s too popular :D). I definitely would slap her just for the smug look on her face.

Umbrellas? Awful costumes aren’t enough? You had to bring UMBRELLAS? I know that the song is about a squall but I don’t think that short dresses and a plastic umbrella can help you in a squall so why bother at all?

The last part consists of a couple of  fillers girls doing a short dance performance. Most of them can’t dance for shit so it seems pointless. Only the girl on the far left got into it and was dynamic. The rest had smiles plastered to their faces while thinking about doing the laundry the next day or something like that.

3. JK Nemurihime

The outfits are really nice. They remind me of the Seifuku something something song. And also the mirrors are a fantastic idea. The space doesn’t seem so cramped any more.

The lyrics are ROFL πŸ˜€

No matter how much time passes,
I still want this school uniform to fit me

Sorry to disappoint you but you’ll be too fat to fit in it XD That’s a fact.

Too fucking popular to care about anything. Honestly, she isn’t trying any more.  It’s routine for her.

4. Kimi ni au tabi koi wo suru

You think that I’m not looking at you miss Bitchy but I see you redoing your hair in front of the mirror. It’s the zillionth time so drop it. They look fine.

Nothing more can be said concerning this song – it’s boring, girls are bored and wotas are bored.

5. Kuroi tenshi

Now that’s more like it. Hot prostitues. How old are they? Lollis or not lollis? If lollis than damn you the Jailbait Lion I’m so busted XD

Miss Perfect seems more into it than in the previous songs. She has some nice acting skill and a stage presence (while the other two girls act as live props).

There’s a total win moment with a great potential. Atsuko gets captured by the two sexually desperate girls (Yuri Bunny somewhere there?) and they…

…glued her to a sticky wall?! WTF?! I mean, it’s in a way hot but still WTF?!

6. Heart gata Virus

Everything about this performance is forgettable.  Just this girl struck me as pretty and interesting. Just enough to have a cap.

7. Renai kinshi jourei

The girl in the middle takes this song too seriously. She’s a great dancer, has the Maasa feel to herself , she’s the second front girl (I think she is) but this BORING song looks funny with her getting so much into it. It’s not a good moment.

8. TSUNDERE! and 9. Manatsu no Christmas Rose



The ‘Life is a switch’ lines are so infective and kakkoi! They compensate for lame furry costumes, silly choreography, miss Bitchy being bitchy and miss Perfect acting again her ‘whatever’ attitude.


11. Marukyuu

Moar drama @o@. This song is so Onna ni Sachi. I waited for the Baka, baka, baka lines XD Choreography was creative and very theatre-like so I guess it’s fine. Some innovation is needed from time to time.

She’s made for drama (that’s the second from girl I remember from Seifuku child prostitution is awwrite song XD). Maasa wannabe or something?

12. Hikoukigumo

What’s with the grab the towel move? C-ute’s done it, Vijuden’s done it. It’s lame. Really lame. As well as the song.

13. Ano koro no Sneaker

In order to have a good ballad you need emotions. Instead you have tired girls, most of them pray for this show to be over already so that they can eat something, bland lyrics about school girl reminiscing of the past (how many songs like that are there in the AKB48 repertoire? Billion?!).

14.  AKB Sanjou!

That’s what I call a tension rising song. It’s all about passion, fierceness… well, in lyrics only. In practice girls don’t give a damn and it shows. Such a pity. It could be the next ‘AKB48’.

BTW, the idea with flashlight on her wrists is out of place (it’s not an emo song after all) but gives nice effects and H!P should look more closely on some of AKB48 idea’s to make a concert more varied.

15. Namida no shinkokyuu

I take back what I said about flashlights. Now they definitely fit the emo song about the benefits of crying. Choreography is nice and the girls’ ‘who cares anyway’ attitudes don’t bother me so much. Staying emotionless could work here. It’s better than the forced smiles. Plus, notice the butt grab πŸ˜€ One lucky wota

16. Oogoe Diamond

I’m not into this single. Obviously, the choreographer tried a bit harder than with the non-single songs and I understand it. This dance is fierce, fast and great to watch. The chorus has something resembling catchy going on. But what the fuck is a Diamond Shout?!

Apparently one of the girls got birthday and they celebrated it quite nicely. She even cried so the speech must have been good. There’s just one BUT

Reina – ‘Gee, thanks guys. You bought me a stuffed Tweety. How sweet of you. Not that you actually earn a lot and could buy me something that I would really enjoy like a Wii or an Iphone. Like who cares. Buy me a mascot. Yahoo’

To sum it up, this stage wasn’t very enlightening.  I discovered some really nice songs and made myself acquainted with the idea of a stage. But nothing revolutionary happened.  I still think that there are too much of the girls, too much confusion, not enough emotions and passion πŸ˜€ But at least I have a clear conscience – I tried to get into AKB48. RIVER is not enough πŸ™‚


Listening to : Morning Musume ‘Shabondama’

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11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. furimukanaide  |  January 18, 2010 at 4:20 AM

    Lol, I was planning to review this later today xD

    And you’re TOTALLY RIGHT about how lazy they are! Were they lipsynching in the one that you watched? Because in the one I watched they were, so you’d think they could put more effort into the dancing, but NO instead they failed at dancing AND lipsynching.

    • 2. ladybird  |  January 18, 2010 at 10:44 AM

      I wasn’t sure about the lip singing. When you sing in a large group it’s easy to conceal bad notes. But I think they were.
      I would love to read your review and compare your ideas πŸ™‚ I compared mine to CK’s in Aitakatta blog.

      • 3. furimukanaide  |  January 18, 2010 at 12:22 PM

        Oh I haven’t read that review… I’ll have to compare mine to that too because it’s pretty funny seeing what a fan notices compared to what a non-fan notices about a performance!

      • 4. ladybird  |  January 18, 2010 at 12:46 PM

        That’s true πŸ™‚ But as far as I remember CK noticed a lot of bad things about this stage so maybe it’s not about our non-fans bias πŸ˜€

  • 5. Arche-JoIyO  |  January 18, 2010 at 6:48 AM

    I do think Atsuko is good at acting πŸ˜€ … yeah the girl has talent at that.

    lol Takahashi being too fierce… I like that girl πŸ˜€ dunno why.

    That Tweety looks so lame XD…

    • 6. ladybird  |  January 18, 2010 at 10:47 AM

      She showed her acting skills in Kuroi Tenshi but most of the time she was too lazy to care. It’s a pity. She could have shined in all the songs.
      The second frontgirl’s name is Takahashi? I thought you meant Takitty and was like ‘WHAT?! Tettekete fierce?’ πŸ™‚

      • 7. Arche-JoIyO  |  January 18, 2010 at 10:43 PM

        Yep she’s Takahashi Minami XD I said Takahashi because there’s another Minami girl I don’t give a shit about XD

      • 8. ladybird  |  January 18, 2010 at 11:06 PM

        Good to know. Damn those Japanese girls, they should have more names available other than Ai, Takahashi, Minami πŸ˜€

  • 9. Valerie  |  January 19, 2010 at 11:29 PM

    lol why is everyone watching A5!! It’s the worst stage ever, I swear.
    However, I agree with almost everything you said (yup), except for Tsundere (which is awesome), and the fact that the seemingly lame/boring songs do have unlame lyrics (Renai Kinshi Jourei’s are very interesting) . But yeah, Acchan has recieved criticism from every AKB fan about her attitude when performing and is infamously known for her ‘i don’t care’ looks, and the sloppy dancing, I’ll explain that in a minute.

    While Team A has the more popular girls, they ended up having only 13 members after October 2008, and only 6 of them are the remaining original members (the really popular ones). The empty positions are filled by kenkyuuseis (trainees, like H!P Eggs) in every show, but even they change in every perf (they’re the filler dancers btw). So the result is bad dancing, singing, and lack of energy, just like H!P Eggs are when they’re beginning xD It also has to do with the stage being, well, mediocre xD, though lots of people will disagree on that.

    Also the show you watched (Miyabi’s cousin’s birthday) is from February 2009, so you may want to watch a recent one to see how they improved, or an older one (like A3 or A4, when Team A was awesome) or as I would recommend, another Team (like Team K! or B3) xD AKB is like Wonderful Hearts IMO, every team is completely different and separated just like Momusu, Berryz and C-ute πŸ˜€ It’s worth giving each one a look.

    PS: First girl is Minami Takahashi, which is the ‘serious one’ in RenKin.
    ‘two-face-bitch’ is Tomomi Itano, a fashion icon for gyarus. She’s the image of Shibuya 109 (the building that the ‘109’ song is about), and she does have an attitude, but more like a spoiled girl attitude. She’s actually a very sweet and caring girl. Girl on Heart Gata Virus is Haruna Kojima, from No Sleeves fame.

    PS2: sorry for the long wall of text.

    • 10. ladybird  |  January 19, 2010 at 11:45 PM

      Wow, thank you so much for all the explanations. Don’t apologize for the long wall of text, I love it XD
      Perhaps, I took the wrong sample, but it was completely random so fair at the same time πŸ™‚ I thought that taking Team A’s performance would give me the best sample but maybe it’s a good idea to look for Team K. Btw, why the names are so lame? I understand AKB48 but why Team A, Team K, b3… the number of girls with all the shifting is confusing, just like the eggs, but giving them letters for a subgroup and than again forming subgroups but with proper names. That’s when I say stop, no thanks.
      The shifting of the back dancers explains the sloppiness and lack of synchrony. It’s really a pity cause it spoils everything. Eggs are going through a lot of training, concerts on their own so that wotas get to know them and girls can improve. But adding new dancers with almost every performance is nuts.
      Thanks for all the names. It’s hard to believe that Tomomi might be a caring girl. She reminds me of Rika ‘Charmy’. Tries to act cutesy but I when I see her interacting with other members she’s conceited. Of course, it’s just my impression. But for me Tomomi is the prettiest in the group. I love her hair (why does she flip it all the time?) πŸ™‚

  • 11. Valerie  |  January 20, 2010 at 3:25 AM

    It’s okay πŸ˜€
    The main problem with Kenkyuuseis is that they graduate a lot. Some girls decide it’s not their thing, others get injured, and others just stop caring and arrive late and stuff like that. They are constantly making auditions for them, but once a year, the current ones are auditioned with the new girls to ensure they really want it; so established kenkyuusei can suddenly leave if they don’t pass, adding more to the madness. However, when it comes to replacing actual members, there are specific girls (usually the older/more talented kenkyuusei) that always replace them, like Reina Fujie (birthday girl). She was/is Atsuko’s under, so not all of them suck xD.

    The number thing it’s not a subgroup xD. There’s only the three teams.
    It works like this: In A5, for example, the A is for Team A, and the 5 is because it’s their fifth stage. Same goes with K4 (Team K’s fourth stage), or B3 (Team B’s third stage). They use it on DVD covers too. And yeah, I totally recommend Team K. K4 is pretty good.

    And well, Team A original members are very close with each other. Even with her attitude, Atsuko cares a lot about them, and is almost like Takamina’s sister. Same goes for Tomochin (she was the girl with the pigtails on Skirt, Hirari btw :D), and the other two Teams.

    Aww today was Rika’s birthday wasn’t it? I was just watching a retrospective video that Dohhh Up put! I wish Biyuuden was still around, I liked their songs D: And I hate visual kei, so no Hangry and Angry for me D:


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