2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to deflower H!P virgins with

December 30, 2009 at 1:18 AM 19 comments

Obviously, some time is needed in order to truly appreciate the appeal of H!P. Believe it or not, there are people who aren’t aware of the awesomeness of H!P and the art of introducing them to our little paradise mustn’t be taken lightly. Only after years of experience one is able to see pass the tackiness, the cheapness, the repetitiveness, and admire the beauty of j-pop. But first, let your H!P virgin start with something more or less resembling western music, something a little more hardcore than Kirarin Revolution.  This is the list of 2009 songs that have this something essential to be a perfect deflowerer.

5. Berryz Koubou – Dakishimete Dakishimete

A bit punkish, a bit naughty and smexy. Even Momo the Peach became Momo the Bitch for this song. It was Berryz first single that went to my official playlist (the one that I’m not afraid to play in front of my roommates XD) and not the guilty pleasure one. Are there any people that truly hated it? I bet there are but not many 🙂  It’s the first step for a hardcore wotaku wannabe.

4. Aa!  – Yume to Genjitsu

This song means business. Dakishimete Dakishimete had some whining factor but Yume to Genjitsu is pure badass. After Yes Yes Yes nobody expected something like this from Aa!. When they entered the stage during the Champloo concert I was mesmerised. Saho Akari was an unanimous winner. Why isn’t she in Buono? She’s sooo much better than Momoko! Maybe not that popular but who cares 😀

3. Berryz Koubou – Otoko no Ko

Berryz Koubou Special Best Vol. 1 introduced me to a delicious song with attitude. It’s like ‘Sakura wa rakusa’ revival! Me want! The Pv might have been on Dakishimete Dakishimete level or even better. I’d like to see pissed off Berryz (Maasa could teach the rest her death glare).  The guitar riff in the middle threw me off my seat and raped me senseless. God, I’d like to see it done on a PV. Epic

2. Buono! – MY BOY

Sweet Kago Queen of my heart, this song is awesome!!! Let the mist of forgiveness swallow the unsuitable PV for a second (I liked the PV but this song requires seriousness rather than cakes ==’). Even the lyrics were cool! I mean, how many times can you listen to “Lotta Love” until you want to throw up? Too much of sugar is just not healthy. Only hardcore fans can listen to “Lotta Love” whole day. Yep, that’s me 😉

1. Morning Musume – Take off is now!

The sexiest dance since Hitomi and Eri done Shabondama together (good old times, sniff) plus the most modern intro I’ve ever heard in a H!P song, some powerful lyrics, amazing rhythm and greatest vocals of Momusu- this can only mean pure win. It’s just too good to be true. I thought it was a cover when I heard it for the first time! It was so out of place next to ‘Guruguru Jump’ and the ‘Miryoku yadayada could it get any longer wtf’ . So, ladies and gentlemen, let your virginal friend sit comfortably and play him this song. I bet that he or she will drool over’Lucky Cha Cha Cha’ and ‘Chu! Natsu party’ in no time.


Some songs could have make it but didn’t for a couple of reasons.

Morning Musume ‘SONGS’ has the potential but the long piano intro seems confusing for a H!P virgin. We recognise the impact of it but honestly speaking not many western pop/rock/or whatever songs start like that. Save this tidbit for later adventures.

Zoku Viyuden ‘ONLY YOU’ (what’s with the capital letters, anyway?) I’m officially in love with this song. It reminds me of Bella in New Moon. Yep, I know it’s crazy. Just as crazy as admitting that I imagine myself singing Omakase Guardian to Bella in New Moon. Did I say it out loud? Aaanyyywaaaay, could you possibly let a H!P virgin listen to Risako’s and Sayu’s vocals? Amnesty International would own your ass! Geez, have some mercy!

Morning Musume ‘Nanchatte Renai’ / ‘Naichau Kamo’ You could argue that these songs are hardcore. It’s some decent pop music. BUT the rap piece in Nanchatte Renai is a major no no. C’mon, nobody does it in western songs. Naichau Kamo is over the top whiney. With another ‘naichau kamo kamo KAMO!!!’ I’m on a verge of screaming ‘You’re crying or not?! Decide for fuck’s sake! And when you do, please look around to check whether anybody cares because I surely don’t’


Listening to : Morning Musume ‘SONGS’

Entry filed under: Top 5 yearly rankings. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Winter picspam with a twist 2009 rankings – Top 5 songs to torture old ladies with

19 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jin  |  December 30, 2009 at 4:55 AM

    lulz, it took me liek 2 minutes to start reading since the title is so lulzy. xD
    Awesome post. 8) I see that you chose songs that more-or-less follow an arrangement similar to western music. I guess that could be a reasonable reason to show those five songs to virgins. There all liek aggresive, hardcore tracks. 8) Hows about FOREVER LOVE? 😛
    But if we were talking about actual H!P songs for H!P virgins(not J-Music virgins), than I don’t think any of these would work(mayeb MY BOY for overall pwness). xD
    Although, there was a moment when you would sign into messenger and you could play a 5 second clip of a song every time you signed in. I was having internet troubles so I was LITERALLY signing in every 30 seconds. The song I had put was the “rottara rottara” part from well, Rottara Rottara. xD Let’s just say I converted a few H!P virgins into our beautiful world~
    Oh, and they removed that “music while logging in” feature form messenger. Now I see why. xD

    • 2. ladybird  |  December 30, 2009 at 1:48 PM

      Thank U so much for a lenghty comment. Glad U enjoyed the post 🙂 FOREVER LOVE is not a 2009 song unfortunately but yeah I thought about it. I like this song but the chorus is too much of a j-pop classic to be a perfect deflowerer 🙂
      Tokkaiko Junjou worked for a H!P and J-music virgin I knew 🙂
      I don’t messengers so your description sounds strange to me. So you had Rottara Rottara everytime you signed in? wow 🙂 They really removed this feature? What a pity. It sounds pretty fun 😀

  • 3. Kishiko  |  December 30, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    Well, when I checked for updates this morning, I saw “virgins” and “deflowering” in the title and thought.. WTF? Wrong blog?

    Only then did I realize that this is not a blog where I should expect to find a simple ranking 😀 An interesting one it is, I must say! In general, I would agree with these choices (would still add Songs to the list), the only problem being that I don’t recall #4 at all. Saho was win? Seriously?

    And I know for a fact that Kanashimi Twilight works for the “deflowering” ceremony, as you call it ^^

    • 4. ladybird  |  December 30, 2009 at 5:14 PM

      I’ll change the title for Time to rank 2009 songs 😀 Kanashimi Twilight would be an obvious choice for the songs of all times but unfortunately it’s not 2009 == Thank U, I promise more strange rankings XD
      number 4 – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asmnD24puB0 When compared to Momo, Saho is an epic win 😀

      • 5. Kishiko  |  December 30, 2009 at 6:07 PM

        An interesting song, which I didn’t know before, thanx! I have always liked Saho (that’s why I asked about her), and now I have a legitimate reason to like her 😀 Too bad she’s in such a shitty group (I mean SCE, of course).

        By the way, how did you make that second title below the tags?

      • 6. ladybird  |  December 30, 2009 at 6:28 PM

        Well, I made it a heading not a paragraph. It looks strange, though. I haven’t noticed it before 😀

      • 7. Kishiko  |  December 30, 2009 at 6:34 PM

        No, this is perfect for some situations. For example if you post two rankings or talk about two unrelated things in one post. It would clearly define the beginning of the second subject.

        .. but how do you make this heading? In HTML edit? What should I do?

      • 8. ladybird  |  December 30, 2009 at 6:41 PM

        In visual edit, next to the Underline button, on the left of it, there’s a list of formats. Scroll down and pick a type of Heading that suits you 😀 If you don’t have the Underline button press shift+alt+Z and new buttons should appear 🙂 My English skills limit my explanation skills ==’ Hope it helped. If not, I still can make a screenshot XD

      • 9. Kishiko  |  December 30, 2009 at 7:29 PM

        Shift+alt+Z worked, thanks for the tip!

        • 10. ladybird  |  December 30, 2009 at 10:42 PM

          You’re welcome 🙂

  • 11. Meyouu  |  December 30, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    Reminds me of my uhh, mortal days.

    • 12. ladybird  |  December 30, 2009 at 5:14 PM

      LOL 😀

  • […] Time to rank! – Top 5 songs to deflower H!P virgins with « Nyu chan desu!!!. […]

  • 14. i'll take maasa tyvm  |  January 7, 2010 at 10:48 AM

    When I first read the title, I thought this was a list of songs to play when making sweet love to your virginal H!P bride dreamgirl of choice XD

    • 15. ladybird  |  January 7, 2010 at 3:08 PM

      A good idea for another ranking 😀

      • 16. i'll take maasa tyvm  |  January 8, 2010 at 11:27 PM

        I’ll be anticipating it! (in between my daydreaming of maasa, of course) XD

        • 17. ladybird  |  January 8, 2010 at 11:39 PM

          Maasa? Is is it some S&M stuff? That’s the only Maasa action I can think of XD

          • 18. i'll take maasa tyvm  |  January 9, 2010 at 1:37 AM

            I haven’t thought of it that way, but now that you mention it…:D
            I much prefer maasa muscle as oppose to, oh let’s say toothpick arms tanaka or some of the other girls severely lacking in the t&a department hahahaa XD

          • 19. ladybird  |  January 9, 2010 at 1:54 AM

            that’s sooo right XD a bit of flesh is appreciated

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